the glass wall

as if separated by a glass wall...

i see you...

you see me...

no words are heard...

no touch is felt...

hand against it...

as if to touch... to feel...

when one touch will ease the pain...

when one hug will dry the tears...

when all that's between is a thin glass wall...

... i want to smile again...

I miss making you laugh...
I miss making you smile...
I miss making you the happiest you've ever been...
I miss laughing...
I miss smiling...
I miss being the happiest I've ever been...
I miss being me...
I miss you...

...secret...

I don't know why I'm bothering to post... no one reads this blog... I guess it's just the need to get something out... even if the person it's intended for will never read it.

You may never know how much you hurt me. You may think the pain you feel is great... not as great as the pain you inflicted. I've never felt pain this great... I've never felt for anyone this much... to be given the happiest 2 months of my life... only to have it taken away in the most painful way imaginable.

Loss is never easy... specially when you know that it's the person's choice to want to leave, or at least want you out of their lives. The pain is worse than death, for at least death usually comes against the will of the people involved.

I should feel better now... I SHOULD. But I don't. It's been over a week, and all the things I do help me forget my pain for the moment, but only for the moment. I grieve, but it doesn't seem to help. What am I doing wrong? Why aren't things getting better?